From today's Star Tribune

Two Job Choices you may not want to see collide

"Recently, she had been working full time for a St. Paul portable-toilet company and part time at a Stillwater restaurant."

Ambush Bug meets Woodgod's Goat Pants

As rendered by Gregory Dickens from a request by TIP

Quote of the Day

"I hope you don't mind if I leave these monkeys in the sink."

In reference to monkey-shaped plates...no, really.

T

The Backstory of Children's Classics: Part One

Wind Up Working in a Gas Station
An exchange from earlier today

Clerk 1: Can we ask you what you do for a living?

Me (setting soda on counter): Why?

Clerk 2: Because you look like someone I know that runs a salon.

Me (the HELL?!?): Ah, I see. Well, that's close. I work in scarves.

Clerk 1: Scarves? Like, you make scarves?

Clerk 2: Like for the winter time?

Me (heh): No no no. I work IN scarves. I'm an exotic dancer. Are you familiar with the Dance of the Seven Veils?

Clerk 1 and 2: ...

Me: Bye

Vonnegut Motivational Poster
(I whipped up today)

Jim the Sicilian (my father) Turns 75 Today

To celebrate, here's a recent conversation we had on Father's Day:


TIP (I said something that I cannot recall)

JTS (looks at me, looks at TYM and says): It's like he's talkin' outta Paper Asshole.

TYM: ?!?

JTS: You know what Paper is?

TYM: Of course.

JTS: You know what an Asshole is; you know, it makes the Candy Bars.

TYM: Er...uhm...yes.

JTS: Paper Asshole.

TIP (laughing)

My Life as a Card Game

Bundt Cake Sarlacc



would be a good band name.

T

Today at Work

Cow-Orker: You look like you're up to no good.

TIP: You mean in general?

Cow-Orker: No, but you do have a swagger in your walk.

TIP: Is now the time I should confess to having a wooden leg?

Cow-Orker: ...